My COVID Test Results Are In | TONIC SITE SHOP

getbasted

save 20% with code:

My COVID Test Results Are In

I’m not going to lie… when I imagine my ideal Sunday morning, it doesn’t involve giving my brain stem a light stir.

Let me back up. (And buckle up, because we’re back with the #longandweird.)

If you’ve been around since last Friday, you know our blessed unicorn of a Brand Manager + Integrator, Christina, stepped in to take my place on the weekly newsletter… which, had I written it in my current condition, was about to become the weakly newsletter.

(Probably would have featured a lot of jokes just like that.)

Knowing I was sick, Christina asked how she could help with the newsletter sometime Wednesday afternoon. She probably DIDN’T expect me to say, “Um, actually, since you asked…could you just… write it for me?” But then she turned around and gave us all THAT freaking TedTalk of an email on customer delight and I wanted to fire myself and never write anything ever again.

(But I’d miss you too much and, hey, what would I do with all my weird?)

While Christina was killing it on the newsletter front, I was… not killing it. I felt like I was being killed. Slowly. Like I’d been run over by a truck going about 5 miles per hour.



If you haven’t already googled “Coronavirus symptoms” at 2am as you attempt to muffle your coughs in your pillow, let me just say… don’t. It’s like when WebMD somehow manages to convince you your intermittent sneezes are a rare form of nostril cancer… no matter what symptoms you start with, you will definitely end up with Coronavirus.

After three days of attempting to balance work, a whole family of people who also didn’t feel well (it’s amazing how much snot exists in a tiny toddler nose) and the increasing feeling that I now permanently lived beneath monster truck tires, I decided I needed to do it…

I needed to get the COVID-19 test.

While I was 99% sure I just had a summer cold (no fever or breathing problems), we had an upcoming (small, outdoor, socially-distanced) birthday party for my husband, I needed to know if I could go to the grocery store, and also, my 2am Google searches were getting scarier.

So, Sunday morning, we took a family trip to our local CVS, where a man with kind eyes passed a brown bag with a little testing kit through a portal.

Unsurprisingly, I have some thoughts on this kit. (The title of my nonexistent podcast? Either “I Have Thoughts, “or “Unsolicited Opinions.”)

First of all, how about some branding, CVS? Just a plain brown bag with a baggie inside? Felt a little like a drug deal. People want experiences. How about creating some anticipation, giving me a nice letterpress logo, an unexpected joke on the outside — “We’re in This Together….from a safe distance?” “Thinking Positive Thoughts, J/K” — and making the test feel like a GIFT? Maybe it’s in a sleek, weighted box like Apple product? Maybe there’s a gift card or scented candle “for when you can smell again” inside?

I kid. But it got worse. First out of the bag o’ boring came a swab approximately the length of a broom handle. Where does this go? was my immediate panicked thought.

“You’re going to insert this into your nose and when it’s in there far enough, I’ll start counting to fifteen…” the man I’d previously thought was kind intoned over the speaker.

You’re reading this thinking, “Okay, Jen, 15 seconds isn’t thaaaaat long,” and you are INCORRECT. It’s shocking how slow the seconds tick by as you insert a swab up through your nose into your brain and then just swish it around a little bit.

My internal monologue: “It’s in far enough now, right? No. How is this not far enough? I think the swab just touched the back of my head! He’s still not counting. NOW?! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF MY BRAIN SOUP, START COUNTING.”

15 seconds is an eternity.

And then you have to do the other nostril.



10/10 do not recommend this experience.

(Side note: That was a joke. If you think you have COVID, please get tested and stay home. Also, apparently there are much more humane nose swab tests that don’t leave you with involuntary tears streaming from your eyes and your children saying “MOMMY, WHAT’S WRONG, IS THE VIRUS MAKING YOU CRY?!” so find one of those.)

After the test came the waiting period. 2-5 days, they said. We’ll email you when your results come in, they said. So obviously, I chose to refresh the test results app approximately every 19 minutes from the moment we left the drive-through.

Last night, my test results finally came in, and I refreshed the app furiously, noting that apparently I was also tested for a bunch of other communicable viruses, like SARS and the Avian Flu. (Side note: who’d have ever thought we’d be kind of nostalgic for SARS? I mean, compared to COVID, the Avian Flu sounds great about now… birds! How cute!)

Annnnnd the test was? Negative. No Corona. (No SARS or Avian Flu, either.) I couldn’t decide if I was relieved or annoyed that I got pretty sick and stuck a broom up my nose and it wasn’t COVID.

But on a positive note far more relevant to you than the state of my nostrils, it got me thinking about this great, NO-SWAB website health check our client Katelyn James just posted after we re-launched her website (which we’d last refreshed in 2017).

Not only does she give you a tour of her beautiful (if I do say so myself) new website, she also gives everyone a ton of excellent tips for how to know when it’s the right time to update your website. Plus, it’s pretty much must-see TV for ANYONE who cares about their web presence (also, I could listen to Katelyn read the phone book, if phone books still existed, since she has the most soothing voice of life):



You’ve GOT to watch the video because there are so many genius notes on making your website convert and a peek into the strategy behind EVERY part of her website — there was a lot. It’s a big site — but if you can’t right now, here are a few of the questions she asks (and one I added):


Katelyn’s (Swab-Free) Website Health Check

1. Do you cringe when you click through your current site because it doesn’t represent your current level of work or clientele?

2. Does your site fail to resize and restructure when you make your desktop browser window more and more narrow and / or does your mobile site feel WAY less cool than your desktop site?

3. Are there current offerings missing or not fully represented on your current site? (Maybe you have shifted what you’re offering in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic and yet your business changes aren’t represented online in any way!)

4. Is your current website missing strategic conversion-based design elements/structure?

5. Are you actively directing people to your Instagram page instead of your website because you aren’t proud of that representation of your brand?

6. Does your website fail to accurately reflect where you are at this stage of your business and where you plan to go next?

If you answered YES to more than two of those questions, then it maaaaaay be time for you to either consider a website overhaul or a least a major website update. Per usual, I have thoughts.


The TONIC (see what I did there?) for Website Woes

If you already have a TONIC site: Great news. We’ve partnered with one of our designer friends, Tessa from Bella Maven, who’s currently offering a “Website Refresh” service, and TONIC regulars get a killer discount! CLICK HERE to take a look and make sure you use the code TONIC150 for $150 off! (Spots are limited).

If you don’t have a TONIC site: Um, what are you waiting for?! Go browse our collection of really sexy customizable website site templates and / or EMAIL US and we can give you a personalized recommendation for the site that fits you — this current, awesome you — best and cures your website woes at the same time. What if you could have a sweet new website up NEXT WEEK?

It’s totally doable.

Previous Post:

Next Post:

Ready for More?

03

02

01

FEATURED POST

In these times, it's more important than ever to stay inspired.

Social (Media) Distancing

three ways Not to go Crazy Right now

FEATURED POST

Everyone's favorite macaroni and cheese lover on the biggest light bulb moments in her brand, the essentials in her carry-on, and her best advice for a designing website that's unmistakably "you."

Jenna Kutcher is Not Going with The Flow

BEHIND THE BAR:

03

01

02

FEATURED POST

Creating connection points, narrowing your scope, and all the inspiration you need to make it your own.

Top Shelf About Section

03

02

01

FIVE STEPS TO A 

buy now, pay later: on 6 month payment plans, your first payment is now *free*   |

all other sites:  TAKE 20% OFF with code: LETSDOTHISTOGETHER

The website of your dreams? It's already mixed to perfection and waiting for you at the bar.

Completely Customizable Websites

FOR THE MODERN, STYLISH CREATIVE

not your average templates

So, you need a website. Your current choices are: a ) a boring, big box template that does nothing to showcase your particular brand of awesome, and that you’d need to be some sort of code wizard to change, or b ) plunking down your life savings and your firstborn to hire a designer and a cranky developer, who will spend months and months of precious time cranking out something arguably “custom” you may or may not love in the end.

We’ve redefined the website template. And not only what it can be, but how it can look, what it can do, and what it can do for your brand.

THE MANIFESTO

Right? Nope. Enter option c ) Tonic Site Shop. Throw out everything you know about templates: these are cocktail-inspired, completely customizable websites designed for the kind of people that give a damn. Simply select your “cocktail,” download, customize anything −ANYTHING− you want, go live, grab the champagne and wait for the compliments ( and clients ) to roll in. They’re designer-made, and tailored just for you. Your old website is already jealous. 

View the Design

Like a breath of fresh air for the internet… Built beautifully, designed to convert.

Paper Plane

View the Design

Has being a total boss ever looked THIS fun? We submit that it has not.

Margarita

View the Design

The cure for the common wedding photography website — fine art, high-impact, built to wow.

Clover Club

View the Design

It's the tonic for tired, too-complicated design, and it goes down real smooth.

Gin & Tonic

View the Design

For those who like their website warm, stylish, and modern, but finished with a little zest. 

Limoncello

View the Design

Clean and classic, tailored to perfection, and served with signature style. 

Martini

View the Design

Oui oui, très chic! Our sweet Vieux is fresh from fashion week in Paris.

Vieux Carré

View the Design

Built for the creative who craves simplicity - a stunning environment for beauty to thrive.

Bellini

View the Design

 Sleek, efficient, strategic, and ready to send all the dream clients straight through your door.

Greyhound

View the Design

A classic take on modern design, with personality peeking through the clouds of pretty.

London Fog

View the Design

A well-balanced cocktail of feminine and modern + dynamic and clean. 

Rosé Royale

View the Design

Stylish, sexy, bold and bright … undoubtedly the fashionista of the collection.

Cosmopolitan

View the Design

A minimalist’s heaven designed to make maximum impact.

Moscow Mule

View the Design

Your monthly Vogue was lost in the mail? Fortunately, we have its replacement.

Amaretto Sour

View the Design

So spacious, fresh and clean, it can’t go down without an “ahhh.”

Gin Fizz

View the Design

For the minimalists, the artists, the romantics, and really, everyone in between. 

Adriatique

View the Design

So smooth and seamless that if you get lost in all the pretty, it must be by choice.

Smokescreen

View the Design

Two parts classic, one part charm, with the kind of elegance that never goes out of style.

Charleston

View the Design

Your images can almost taste the Campari, and it goes down even smoother than it looks. 

Negroni

View the Design

Fashionable free spirits, stand (or twirl) at the ready: Lillet Blanc is your website home of dreams. 

Lillet Blanc

View the Design

Good news: Summer is never over when you've got a cool, refreshing Lemon Drop in your hand!

Lemon Drop

View the Design

If you're looking for simple and honest, with style in spades and space to breathe ...

Vodka Soda

View the Design

Long summer days at the lake and those cozy winter nights at the cabin in the mountains ...

Hemingway

SHOP our showit template COLLECTION

What's Your Brand Cocktail?

PULL UP YOUR BARSTOOL & TAKE THE QUIZ

take the quiz! (it only takes 60 seconds)

Find out the secret ingredients in your shaker, and what sets you apart from everyone else on the (top) shelf... Plus, get our specific strategies to ensure your ideal clients pick you off the menu every time.

what's your brand cocktail?

“If I could go back in time, I would purchase a Tonic site much earlier in my career. The high end feel of the template site combined with Jen and Jeff's creative direction and advice, instantly brought my work and brand to the next level. It allowed me to increase my prices and reach my dream client!”

PRAISE FOR TONIC

- Annamarie Akins

“If you know your website isn't as good as it SHOULD be and you're riding the struggle bus trying to figure out how everyone else seems to have gorgeous websites, buy a TONIC site. It's time you look just as good (if not better) than others in your industry and stand out in a way that's unique to you.”

PRAISE FOR TONIC

- Jenna Kutcher

“The creative geniuses behind Tonic Site Shop are the only people we trusted to help us build our brand, and you can trust their sites to build yours, too. 

PRAISE FOR TONIC

 - Amy & Jordan Demos

“To think that something like this exists purely from the heart of helping small businesses fly and have access to this level of branding that was once reserved for only the most established and top of the top of the market…I just think this is going to change everything.”

PRAISE FOR TONIC

- Mary Marantz

“If there is ONE thing in your business worth investing in (even more than your camera and lenses) it is your brand. TONIC is the only resource I recommend if you want to get it done right.” 

PRAISE FOR TONIC

 - Ben Hartley

“Tonic is the PERFECT resource for anyone needing a quick and simple way to get an incredible, flawlessly designed website.”

PRAISE FOR TONIC

- Hope Taylor

“Being able to create a creative, editorial, and professional website with TONIC has taken our brand to higher levels - more inquiries and bookings with our ideal clients! Cheers, indeed!”

PRAISE FOR TONIC

 - Luke & Cat Neumeyer

“TONIC revolutionized my business, I never wanted to send people to my site before, then Jeff & Jen re-mixed my online presence, and wow, THEY ARE GOOD. They got to the core of my brand and built a hand-crafted site around it. Wouldn't want to work with anyone else."

PRAISE FOR TONIC

- Joel Allegretto

“The idea that someone could take a gallery of their 50 best images, pair it with one of these incredible designs and have a brand and virtual storefront that will start going to WORK for them and allow them to hit the ground running by the weekend is mind-blowing. It’s game-changing.”

PRAISE FOR TONIC

- Mary Marantz

“TONIC not only gave me a gorgeous, sleek (easy to use!) design that elevates my brand, but also regularly introduces me to new cocktails I've yet to try. Win, win!”

PRAISE FOR TONIC

 - Abby Grace

see our sites in action

Beth Kirby

"From colors to fonts, my brand new site is everything I ever wanted in a website — and I didn't even know such magic was possible without knowing a lick of code, but my homies at TONIC completely changed my world."  — Beth / @localmilk

Visit the Site

Elanaloo

“I can now say from experience, it feels phenomenal to have your corner of the internet feel like HOME. If you're tired of being embarrassed by your outdated website or  craving something that can really feel like YOURS – TONIC is your people. This is the BEST solution to web design I've ever come across.”— Elana, @elanaloo

Visit the Site

Caroline Logan

"If you're thinking about getting a TONIC site, is it too cheesy to say 'DO IT, You won't regret it?' Because it’s true. Your business will grow. Your bookings will increase. You'll be able to raise your prices. You'll attract and book your dream clients. You’ll be more confident than ever before in your brand. It's a no brainer!"  — Caroline

Visit the Site

Valorie Darling

“Not only are their designs gorgeous, intuitive and perfectly built for photographers, but their team really couldn't be more loving and supportive in the journey of bringing it all together.”  — Valorie

Visit the Site

The White Hearth

 "I always sought to make a fine product, but now I have a fine website to showcase it. If you’re putting off getting a Tonic site, learn from my experience and don’t wait any longer. It will be the site you’ll wish you always had!“ — Talia

Visit the Site

Amelia Brown

"With our Tonic template, we’ve been able to create a lush, magazine-style layout that showcases our process, inspirations, and story. It's been a pleasure to work with Tonic in creating our new website." — Amelia

Visit the Site

THE NEWSLETTER

Friends Don't Let Friends Get Boring Email

Ready for a little TONIC in your inbox? We send occasional, moderately witty emails with exclusive deals, design tips, recent blog favorites, cocktail recipes, and more.

Get on the VIP List